MatveJS
The Cutest Useless JavaScript Framework in the Coding Pasture
Alpaca-mazing "Features"
Alpaca-Driven Development
Let our AI alpacas write your code. They can't code, but they're fluffy and cute!
Wool-First Architecture
Our framework is built on a foundation of alpaca wool. It's warm, itchy, and completely impractical for coding!
AI-Powered Excuses
Automatically generates believable excuses for why your project using MatveJS is the best decision your company has ever made.
Spit-Powered Debugging
When your code inevitably breaks, our virtual alpacas will spit at it. It won't fix anything, but it's hilarious!
Grass-Fueled Performance
Our servers run on a diet of pure, organic grass. It's green, it's clean, and it's slower than a three-legged alpaca!
Alpaca Agile Methodology
Sprints are replaced with aimless wandering. Stand-ups are now Lie-downs-in-the-field. Embrace the chaos!
Inspiration
It all started on a misguided field trip to an alpaca farm. Our founder, in a sleep-deprived state, mistook the gentle humming of alpacas for the whispers of coding wisdom. Convinced that the alpacas were sharing the secrets of the universe (or at least of JavaScript), he spent the next 48 hours creating MatveJS. The result? A framework as useful as a chocolate teapot, but as cute as the alpacas that "inspired" it. Who needs efficiency when you can have fluffy chaos?
Alpacas don\'t need sunglasses, and your project doesn\'t need MatveJS. But both are undeniably adorable!
Alpacas can survive in various climates. MatveJS thrives in environments of complete coding chaos and misunderstanding.
Alpaca-mentation
Our documentation is as useful as an alpaca in a submarine, but twice as cute!
Here's a sneak peek of our "Hello, Useless World!" example:
import { useAlpaca } from 'matve-js';
export default function Greetings() {
const alpaca = useAlpaca();
return (
<div>
{alpaca.spit() ? 'Congratulations! Your app is now broken!' : 'Hello, Useless World!'}
</div>
);
}